Quirks
by Frozen Obsidian
Summary: As talented as the Generation of Miracles are, they're all several marbles short of sane.
1. The First Six

**Quirks**

**1. Kise – Fans**

Kise was in an absolutely fantastic mood. It was his birthday! Already, most of the female population of Teikou had given him gifts. Sure, they were mostly chocolates which he didn't quite have a taste for, but it was the thought that counted.

He munched on the homemade pistachio cookie in contemplation. Ah, he wondered what his teammates had gotten him... He hummed cheerfully as he strolled towards the gym.

-0-0-

As it turned out, no one really cared.

"Eh? It's your birthday, Kise?" said Aomine indifferently, "Congratulations." It would have sounded a lot more sincere if the tanned boy had even bothered to sit up from where he lay on the bench.

"Your Oha-Asa prediction today says that you'll have a bad day though," said Midorima, casually unwinding the tape from his fingers.

Kuroko was no where to be seen.

Kise could have cried.

Musakibara tapped the blond on his shoulder, a grin on his face, "Here, Ki-chin, your gift."

Kise, who had been rapidly spiraling into depression, beamed. Someone had remembered! He jumped to hug the tall boy before he glanced at the thing in his hands.

He deflated. "Ah… Musakibara-chi, this is an empty chip packet."

"So it is," said Musakibara, apparently seeing nothing wrong with this.

Kise could have burst into tears.

He wondered if Akashi-chi had bothered to get him anything. At least the captain would _know_ that today was his birthday if nothing else. He's not quite sure if that's a good thing or not.

-0-0-

As he soon found, it is not a good thing.

Akashi's gift to one Kise Ryouta is a nation-wide announcement that today was the blond model's birthday, detailing his schedule and location for the entire day.

The rest of the Generation watched as Kise is buried underneath a fangirl tsunami.

They _might_ have felt sorry for him.

Maybe.

**2. Musakibara – Indigestion**

The whole team watched in horrified awe as Musakibara devoured packet after packet, chips and licorice and sweets and every other snack that could be named disappearing into an apparent black hole.

An awkward silence descended.

Finally, Kuroko spoke up, face expressionless as ever, "Musakibara-kun, I think you should stop now."

Musakibara slowly looked down at the much shorter boy, "Eh? Why Kuro-chin? Do you want some?" He proffered the vanilla Pocky stick at Kuroko.

Kuroko stared at it for a while before accepting it. After all, it was vanilla. "Ah, thank you. But no, it wasn't that. I just think you shouldn't eat so much right before we play a match."

He turned and gestured at the five foot tall mound of snack wrappers that lay in Musakibara's wake.

Musakibara waved a hand indifferently, "It's fine…"

Kise shrugged, "If you say so Musakibara-chi."

-0-0-

The game was going well. The other team's ace had managed to surprise them for a while but now the score was firmly at 98-57 with five minutes left on the clock. Nothing could go wrong-

_Thud._

The referee blew the whistle as Musakibara collapsed. Kuroko ran over to the giant boy with a frown. "Musakibara-kun?"

"My stomach hurts…"

"Ah, " said Kuroko, completely deadpan, "I told you so."

Musakibara groaned.

**3. Midorima – Lucky Item**

The boy – a first string non-starter – passed the ball to Kuroko who easily tapped it towards Aomine.

Aomine caught it, quickly dashing towards the net to start the practice game off at 2-0 in their favour when-

_Swish_

Everybody on the court blinked. As one, they turned to stare at Midorima, who pushed his glasses up his nose with a smirk. They stared at the ball in Aomine's hands, before staring at Midorima again.

A three pointer from Midorima was nothing to be amazed by, but a three pointer from Midorima _without_ the ball was unheard of.

Akashi straightened from where he had been watching. He sounded vaguely annoyed. "Shintarou, we generally play basketball with _one_ ball on the court."

Midorima nodded, "Exactly. It's this one."

Kise blinked, finally comprehending, "No it wasn't, Midorima-chi! The ball that Aomine-chi is holding is obviously the one from the tip off!"

"This ball is my lucky item for the day," said Midorima, spinning the offending ball on his finger tip, "So it should be today's game ball as well."

Aomine face-palmed. He was in a team of loonies, that was what it was.

Musakibara ate his chips.

**4. Aomine – Studies**

Akashi's grin was utterly terrifying as he stared at his whole team. The entire team cursed the _moron_ who had given their psychotic leader a pair of mismatched eyes. As if their captain needed any assistance in making his gaze even more disturbing.

"I hope," Akashi said, each word as deadly as a knife, "that there will be no problems with the mid-term test tomorrow."

He glared at Aomine out of the corner of his eye.

The Teikou starters glanced at each other before shrugging.

"The fates have decreed that I will have no problem tomorrow," said Midorima, "I have done all that I can."

Musakibara sucked on a banana-flavoured lollipop, "I'll be fine, probably."

"I've already studied with my older sister," said Kise with a blinding grin, hand held out in a 'V' sign.

Kuroko nodded.

Attention shifted to their silent ace. His expression could be described, by the more crude, as '_oh-shit-oh-crap-damndamndamn'. _

Kuroko sighed.

-0-0-

The job of tutoring Aomine was given to Midorima, because he is the best in their year bar Akashi, and to Kuroko, because he is the only one Aomine listens to. Momoi came along too, of course.

After many hours trying and failing to drill information into Aomine's thick skull, Momoi finally slammed the book down onto the table with a huff.

"God, Daiki," she said, a tic developing near her eyebrow, "I knew you never cared for studying, but I never knew you were so _stupid_!"

Kuroko piped up helpfully, "_Aho_mine-kun."

Aomine shot his best friend a dirty glare, "Gee, thanks, Tetsu. You sure know how to make a guy feel better."

Midorima finally looked up, "I think I have an idea."

They waited expectantly.

Midorima tossed Aomine a pencil.

-0-0-

After the final paper, Kuroko wandered over to Aomine's desk, scaring the tanned boy in the process.

"Shit! Tetsu, I've told you not to do that!"

Kuroko shrugged, "I've been here the whole time."

"No, you haven't!"

"Have."

Aomine twitched, "Whatever."

"So, how did it go?"

Aomine dropped his head onto the table. He sighed, "I spent three days rolling a wooden pencil made by a green haired idiot."

"Oh."

"Exactly."

-0-0-

When the results came back, Aomine is miraculously in the top ten of their year.

Kuroko stole the pencil.

**5. Kuroko - Consequences**

"Look here," snarled the thuggish looking senior, one hand fisted in the twelve year old's shirt, "I said I wanted that watch."

"B-but," the boy is whimpering, "it's a present from my mom-"

"Do I look like I care?" said the thug, "It's a cool watch, way too cool for a mommy's boy like you, so hand it over!"

The boy is shaking like a leaf, but he shook his head, one hand clasped protectively over the item in question.

The thug rolled his fist back…

-0-0-

Kuroko poked Aomine's side, "Aomine-kun, look there."

Aomine turned to see what had gotten his shadow's attention. He frowned. He hated cowards who picked on people smaller than them.

The rest of the Generation of Miracles looked equally as disgruntled.

Before they could react though, Kuroko is already standing before the thug and delivering his usual lecture.

The thug does not look amused.

Aomine groaned. Couldn't Tetsu wait for once?

He hated having to be the level headed once.

More than that, he really wished he could say that this was a rare occurrence.

It happened every Tuesday.

**6. Akashi – Height Complex**

"Hey shorty!" a high school student barked at them, or more exactly, at Akashi who had stepped (_deliberately_) on his foot.

As a group, the rest of the Teikou Basketball Team swiftly retreated several metres back, eventually ducking behind a bush.

Kise stretched his legs out languidly, "So, Kuroko-chi, what do you think he'll do this time?"

"He called Akashi-kun short. Who knows?"

"I just hope there won't be assault charges this time," said Midorima. Being this team's vice-captain was a job he should never have accepted.

Musakibara grinned, "Mido-chin, you should know that Aka-chin _never _gets caught."

Aomine snorted under his breath. Yeah, _right_, more like no one dared to act against their red haired devil of a captain.

The screams of the unfortunate offender behind them as he is nearly disemboweled by a pair of scissors contests to that.

-0-0-

Several minutes later, Akashi returned with a happy smirk on his face. The scissors are twirled gracefully on his index finger.

The rest of his team try to surreptitiously check for blood stains.

Miraculously, there are none. Of course, with Akashi, that didn't really say anything.

God, their captain was scary.

(-and amazingly height sensitive)

-0-0-0-

_And there you go! _

_I hoped I kept them all in character... This was fun to write. It has virtually no point, except that I thought it was cute, and kind of funny. Hopefully, you do too!  
_

_Kuroko's one was the hardest to write.  
_

_Reviews power my soul.  
_

_~FO  
_


	2. Akashi - Defeat

**7. Akashi – Defeat**

The thing about the Generation of Miracles was that they lived, breathed and ate basketball. There was nothing else for it. Their lives simply revolved around that one game, and that one game was theirs for the taking. It was simple, and absolute.

However, on this day, it was different.

They were, as a matter of fact, _not_ playing basketball. Neither were they conditioning themselves, training their stamina or anything else related to basketball.

Instead, they were playing volleyball. It had been a whim, when Akashi had stood on the beach and yawned. He had stared at the team playing on the sandy beach, before calmly directing his team to the lockers to change.

They did.

They spent approximately 5 minutes getting ready, and Akashi was already waiting for them when they were done. They had long stopped wondering just _how_ their captain changed.

Stretching idly, Aomine had asked, "So what are we training for today?"

Akashi stared at his team flatly, heterochromic eyes flashing, and said, "We will be playing volleyball."

"Uh," said Kise with a frown, "I thought we were strengthening our balance today?"

Akashi sent him a glare that would have frozen hell, and said again, "We will be playing volleyball."

His team agreed, because what else could they do?

-0-0-0-

(_Slowing down to walk in pace with their manager, __Kise said, "What the hell is up with the captain?"_

_Momoi whispered back, "One of them called him short and challenged the 'red midget' to a volleyball game."_

_And everything made sense.)_

-0-0-0-

While the Teikou regulars were by nature basketball players, they were also just plain fantastic athletes. So it was little surprise that the volleyball game turned into a slaughterhouse movie.

Apparently, Kise _could_ and would copy any moves from any game, and had for a while been part of the volleyball club. Musakibara was freakishly tall enough to reach everywhere he wanted; Midorima's supernatural aim traversed over to volleyball too; Kuroko opted to sit out, but their opponents still seemed freaked out by the disembodied voice shouting comments to the team currently crushing them. Aomine was in superb physical condition, so watching him apply his formless basketball to a new game was fascinating in itself.

And of course, there was Akashi, who would have been cackling in malevolent glee if he were that kind of person. But he wasn't, so he just shot an asshole smirk to the team they had just decimated.

He said, sounding as he were merely commenting on the weather, "You will never rise from the ashes of your shame and humiliation."

Then, equally as calmly, he turned to his team and said, "Well, that was fun."

In unison, the Generation of Miracles blinked at their captain before saying, cowed, "Yeah."

"I thought so."

-0-0-0-

A/N

I've decided to turn this into a GoM drabble series. And I had to write this, just to pay tribute to Azula from ATLA. You know, because she's awesome and that was bloody hilarious.

Loves,  
~FO


End file.
